


It Always Gets Better

by orphan_account



Category: Amazing Spider-Man (2012), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, F/M, Sad, Suicide, Superfamily, suicidal!peter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-07
Updated: 2012-11-07
Packaged: 2017-11-18 04:06:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/556721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TRIGGER WARNING. Tony Stark walks in on a suicidal Peter Parker and sits with him, and tells him how it will always get better. Stony. Superfamily. Movie!verse and Comic!verse. Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Always Gets Better

Peter stared at the gun in his hand. He had never thought that it would come to this, but with the recent turn of events it was hard to think how else it could end.

It had been easy enough to procure the gun, of course it had; nine out of ten of the guys that Peter dealt with every night had a gun. Usually he just left the weapon with the perp for the cops to confiscate later, but it hadn't really been all that hard to pocket one last time he went out. Last time. It was the last time he had gone out wearing the suit, and it would stay the last time that he would go out wearing the suit. He was hanging up his suit, just as he was hanging up his life. Peter allowed himself a sick, morbid chuckle at that one; hanging up his life.

He had thought about hanging, but he was pretty sure that when his survival instincts cut in he would just tear the rope off. He had considered ending it with a razor or a blade as well, but was sure that his healing would be able to handle those okay, same with pills and his metabolism. The gun had seemed like his safest bet and he was pretty sure that his healing speed would not be able to keep up with a bullet through his brain.

Honestly, he was ashamed; he felt like a quitter, like he was bailing out because it was the easy option. And that was the reason, partially. He supposed he was really doing this because he knew that if he lived he would always crawl back to being Spider-man. That was just who he was. He wanted to help.

'But that's just it, isn't it Peter? You don't help' a voice inside his head hissed, 'You never help, you think you are helping but you always end up hurting those around you.'

He winced, it hurt to hear that. But ultimately it was true; the voice had a point.

As if to prove itself his brain supplied a film reel of images to supplement its words.

Uncle Ben, his blood pooling around him on the pavement. His face pale.  
Captain Stacy, trying to protect his only daughter Gwen in his dying moments.  
The countless civilians that he had failed to save.

And one last one.  
Gwen.  
Gwen's perfect face, laughing, kissing him, teasing him while out at the park one day. And his most recent memory of her. A still, frozen look of terror and pain and shock still showing of her face. Her body still warm in his arms. But the face was frozen. It would always remain frozen, and as his tears fell onto her lifeless face he could already see the mottled, dark purple bruising forming around her neck, twisted at such a strange angle. It was him. He had kill the girl he had loved. The girl that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

He thought of how disappointed Aunt May would be with him and he was so glad that at least she didn't have to see him like he was now. She had died, peacefully in her sleep, a few months ago, before he had killed Gwen. Peter could think of her fondly, sure he was sad but there was no guilt tainting the memories. There was nothing he could have done to save her. It was pneumonia with complications that had taken her and even his twisted brain could not tell him that it had been his fault.

They'd been living at Stark Towers with Tony and his partner Steve for a few years now. May had been struggling with the bills after Ben had passed away and some how Tony had found out and insisted that they both come to live with him and Steve. Peter held off for a while, pride getting the better of him. But in the end he wanted Aunt May to be comfortable, so they accepted.

In the beginning he had gone to live with Iron Man and Captain America as Spider-man, but soon he had started to see that they were just regular people like him. Even if one of them was Tony Stark. Since then Steve and Tony had become like Dads to Peter.

Peter was aware that thinking about all of this was only making things worse. That it would be better for him if he just ended it now.

His mind shifted back to Tony and Steve. He knew that he was doing a selfish thing, and he was truly sorry to them they would be the ones to find his body. He wouldn't wish that upon anyone.

But he had to do this.

Taking the gun in his right hand he flicked the safety off.

'This is it,' he thought, slowly putting it to the roof of his mouth. It was cold and metallic and he closed his eyes, whispering his last goodbyes and apologies to the world around the unforgiving barrel just as the door burst open.

There was silence. Peter opened his eyes and saw Tony standing in the doorway.

Peter pulled the gun out of his mouth and let it fall to the floor, joining the tears that had already begun to splatter down. He couldn't shoot himself in front of Tony. He couldn't. Tony jogged over to his side and pulled him into his chest.

"Oh, Peter. Peter." Tony seemed to be incapable of saying anything other than his name, pulling him still closer as his arms went around the boy in a bear hug.

They stayed like that for minutes, hours. Neither could tell. It was Tony who shifted first, legs screaming in pain form having been crouched in front of Peter for so long.

"I'm getting old, Pete" he tried to joke feebly as he shifted around to sit next to him, with Peter leaning in to rest his head on Tony's shoulder.

They stayed quiet like that for more time. Until Peter simply said "JARVIS?"

Tony nodded, needing no clarification. JARVIS had been the one to alert Tony to Peter's danger. It was shortly after that that Peter had cried himself dry and Tony felt it was his turn to speak up.

"Y'know, I used to do this every few months. Sit in the lab with a gun, or a bottle of pills and think about how easy it would be to simply walk away from it all. I even tried it a few times. Botched it completely, think I secretly knew that I couldn't really do it. Pepper found me one time, bleeding out my wrists" here Tony lifted the sleeves of his long sleeved t-shirt to show him the healed white scars "but I never did get it right. And then I got this" he indicated the Arc Reactor "and the suit and suddenly I had something to live for. I could really help people. I stopped making weapons and focused on saving people. Of course it didn't always go to plan. There will always be those who you couldn't get to in time. Couldn't save. And that sucks, Pete. It always will. People trusted you and you feel like you fucked up."

Peter just sat there listening. Tony knew how it was. Tony had felt it too.

"So I found myself low again. Drinking stupid amounts again. That was when I started to get sick. The thing that I had loved was killing me. My reactor was poisoning me. That was the first time that it was happening slowly enough for me to realise that I didn't want to go. Not yet. When I found out that Dad had found the new element, that it was capable of powering the Arc Reactor and saving me, I knew that I would never try to do this again" he indicated the gun at their feet.

"And then the Avengers formed and I met Steve. And I fell in love for the first time. I love him with all my heart, Peter." Here he laughed a bit and took a shaky breath, continuing "I guess that this is my way of saying that this is never the best option, Peter. This is never the way out. Yeah, life may feel like a shit-hole but, at least I knew that whenever I found myself like that I had hit rock bottom again. And the thought that always got me through was what was the only way to go from rock bottom? Up. It can only get better. And it always does, Peter. Steve and I love you. A lot. We would be devastated if anything happened to you." Tony looked away, wiping at his eyes, "We both think of you as our son."

Peter produced a watery smile.

"Thanks, Tony." He shut his eyes, leaning further into Tony's body. He was suddenly exhausted.

"Do you,...Would you um, mind staying here for a bit? Please?"

"Sure, Petey."

"Don't tell Steve."

"Never." Said Tony softly, pressing a kiss into Peter's hair as he drifted off to sleep on Tony's shoulder.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: I own none of the characters, only the words.


End file.
